Billie Eilish Candidly Reveals She Didn't Think She'd Make It To 17

Carla Harmon
January 25, 2020

"I don't want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn't think I would make it to 17".

The now-18-year-old, who is set to perform at Sunday's Grammy awards with six nominations under her belt, opened up about her mental health and the downsides to fame on Thursday's "Gayle King Grammy Special" on CBS.

Thankfully, Eilish didn't kill herself and credits her mom for saving her life. And I remember that there was a window there. Billie sings: "I wanna end me".

When prompted by Gayle as to why, her response was an emotional one.

Dugan was placed on administrative leave abruptly at the end of last week, with allegations swirling about misconduct, and it's since come to light that she filed a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission stating that Portnow "allegedly raped a female recording artist", which resulted in his contract not being renewed.

"I didn't ever think I would be happy again, ever", she said. "I was so joyless", she said. If you've ever heard the 17-year-old's acclaimed track "Bury a Friend" off of the Grammy-nominated When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? However, at the time ET, confirmed her absence was because she was in London filming the movie adaptation of "Cats".

In response to Gayle, Billie said: "Yeah". "I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way I was gonna die was-I was gonna do it".

"My brother and I wrote this song about each other and I wanted to create a visual that emphasizes that no matter what, we'll be there for each other through everything", says Eilish in a statement. Through therapy and support, Billie has flourished before her fans' eyes. "Baird recalled. "She loved doing the shows - the fans and the shows". "I just grab them by the shoulders", said the singer, "and I'm like, "please take care of yourself and be good to yourself". Do not take that extra step and hurt yourself even more.

Billie previously opened up to Rolling Stone about having body dysmorphia and how she self-harmed in her early years as a teenager.

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